Brother Bernard Palmeri

“I do a lot of paper airplane making,” says Brother Bernard Palmeri, when asked to describe his work as an elementary school counselor in Beaumont, Texas. “With little ones, if you can get their hands busy, they will tell you anything you need to know — and they will share a lot of insights into what is going on in their lives.” Sometimes the children must cope with divorce or death or the power struggles that crop up in fourth or fifth grade.

Other times, Brother Bernard is struck by the kindness of nine- and ten-year-olds. “Kids have deep concern for each other. Often they tell me, ‘You have to talk to so and so — he’s having a real bad day.’ In the fourth or fifth grade, one day they are friends, the next, enemies. You have to put some calm to their rough seas, and reassure them.”

Brother Bernard’s work in Child and Family Counseling began 10 years ago, in response to pressing needs in the Diocese of Beaumont. Today he is the only counselor for almost 2,000 students in six Catholic elementary schools. In addition to individual guidance, he makes class presentations on character education, respect, bullying, communication skills, and relationships.

“Kids are facing drug and sexual issues at a much younger age,” he notes. “We have to give them tools to work with these issues much earlier. It’s also really important to give the kids some skills in how to deal with frustration and grief.

“It’s actually enjoyable to sit with a group of second-graders and talk about death. They have a simple but very accurate insight into death; it’s the adults that get stuck in grief. Kids don’t need to have their problems solved. They need us to listen and give them some tools to start to putting together an answer, but it doesn’t need to be done perfectly.”

Brother Bernard also puts on parenting programs and hosts monthly parent support groups — known as the Lunchbox Bunch — and presents parenting seminars at different locations in the diocese. It’s a busy, fulfilling life — but also one he didn’t expect.

“If you had asked me, did I envision any of this, I would have to say no. I wanted to be a ‘maintenance Brother,’ taking care of the physical plant at our schools, because I didn’t think I had any special talents.” Yet as so often happens in the Congregation of Holy Cross, Bernard’s fellow Brothers saw his untapped abilities — and how he could use them to serve the greatest unmet needs. Instead of maintaining buildings, he helps to maintain the life and spirit of thousands of children and their families.

“If I can provide some tools that help kids and their parents — who have one of the toughest jobs in the world today — that is bringing hope.”